bathtime.

mom's home health aide, miriam, is here.
she comes every few days to give mom a bath.
well, so far it's been a sponge bath, but i think she'll get a real bath on friday.
miriam is about 5'3", so seeing her man-handle my mom, who is 5'9" and weighs about 180lbs, is pretty funny. well, not really funny funny, but you know.
i took myself to see 'stardust' last night.
i really liked it.
i am a sucker for anything fairy tale-y or fantasy-y anyway, but then add in that it was based on the book by neil gaiman and i am sold.
i have had a grudge against claire danes, ever since she a) sucked in every role since 'my so-called life' and b) had an affair with billy crudup and broke up him and mary louise parker. i have to admit, she was charming in 'stardust.' it made me remember why i liked her. her accent was flawless and we looked lovely. good comic timing.
michelle pheiffer was great, but her accent sucked balls. sometimes she was from england, and then sometimes she was just her. she seemed like she had fun with the role, which is nice to see.
robert de niro's character was a little embarrassing. at least he didn't try an accent. once i got over feeling embarrassed about his character, i was able to enjoy him.
i have to say, the find was just lovely, i thought. it was exactly what i needed out of my movie that night.
i'm coming to marin today. i'll be in town tonight and tomorrow night. i lined up someone to hang with mom while allen goes to band practice, so i am set to go. i can't wait to go to the gym and take a shower. (the showers at my mom's house all suck. the water takes forever to heat up, then barely lasts 10 minutes. it's so frustrating to take a shower that i just let myself stink and be hairy. whatever. who am i trying to impress, right?
changed the sheets on the bed while mom was getting her bath. folded laundry and and put it away.
i had a dream last night about mom. we were walking together, along this path that skirted a wide grassy field (like scotty's pasture mixed with chrissy field). there were a lot of other people on the path, though none at the same place that we were, and i could see, in the distance around a bend, a big white building, like a museum or city hall-type building. it felt like that was where we were going, and we were walking with purpose. in the dream, i knew that mom was dying, and her being able to walk normally and talk, like none of this had ever happened, was a really big deal. i couldn't just enjoy this last little bit of pre-cancer mom, and i was seized with this panic to make it COUNT. i was on the verge of tears, wanting to go back, to grab my recorder so i could record our conversation. i kept thinking, 'i didn't know. i'm not ready. i'm not ready for this to be the last time.' and i was so angry, because it felt so cruel, to give me this sudden moment of Real Mom, with no warning, and no way to really capture it, and i knew it was going to pass and there was nothing i could do about it. it was so frustrating.
taking some stuff of mom's home with me today...tie-dyed camisole, cherry red leather knee-hight flat boots (i know! she has them in black, too!), some good slips...part of me feels like i'm looting a corpse, but then i think of my mom's response if i told her that. she'd think i was being dumb, and remind me that she certainly wasn't using them, so i might as well.