t.c.o.b.

my family has used this financial lady for years.

when i was younger, and my mom and dad were still together, they used her for financial counseling and bill-paying.

when they split up, my dad hired her and her people to handle all of his business and personal expenses.

when mom inherited the house from my grandfather, and had some money to play with, she called this lady for advice.

so, now that my mom's mental stuff is getting a little iffy, and her organization in her head is the pits, i am hiring this financial lady and her service to handle my mom's bills.

before we found out about the fucking cancer, one of the signs that something was amiss was the piles of unpaid bills that mom's boyfriend found around the house. they thought mom was depressed. so, while my mom was going through brain surgery, shannon paid all of her bills. i paid her bills for a while, but she seemed like she was doing well, mentally, so i let her handle them once she got back home.

but it seems like, given the fact that she can't remember where she puts things, or when things are supposed to happen, maybe expecting her to pay her bills on time is too much. i don't want to find out that things are out of control, because mom was too embarrassed to ask for help. so, i suggested it and mom was receptive.

i know it's scary for mom to have to give up so much control of her life. me and allen are trying to wrestle the car keys from her hand. i am taking the bills away. that's a big loss of autonomy. obviously i don't know what that's like but i can imagine. but she's been pretty much fine with it. i think i was successful in convincing her to think of it like an indulgence, like having a housekeeper.

i knew that this stuff would have to happen at some point, but i expected it to happen when she was a senior citizen. this is yet another wrinkle of crappiness in the whole big elephant of crappy.

in more cheerful news, shannon and i made an offer on another house in petaluma and it was accepted. we are terrified, but also, i think we're excited, too. i think. the offer we made asked them to pay the closing costs, and to leave the island in the middle of the kitchen, and they were okay with both. also, they asked for two extra weeks to move out, and they'll pay us rent to stay for those weeks. so, basically, these people are paying us to buy their house.

there are a lot of reasons to be scared about this. what if the market continues to go downhill and we bought a house for a lot more than we needed to? that's a possibility. what if our little house never increases in value? that's a possibility, too. what if it's way too small and we end up hating it? unlikely. it's pretty cute. what if we can't sell it? who knows, right? we'll just have to see.

moving away from marin will be sad. um, you guys? if i have a baby, i'll probably need a lot of support and help, but i'm moving a little further away. could you please come up and help me sometimes? i promise that i won't be the kind of new mom who never leaves the house, so sometimes i can meet you half way.