Thursday, July 26, 2007

me and mom.

right before mom went under, beneath her cancer, she had just bought rufus wainwright's new cd. she was crazy for it, listening to it constantly. she played it for me in the car, the last time i let her drive.
rufus wainwright is playing in santa rosa next thursday, so i bought the two of us tickets.
i keep living through this like it's a movie about cancer, and in the movie, this is the scene where we have a beautiful experience together, right before she gets really, really ill and dies. the last scene is me being brave and finding hope after she's gone. someone in that scene will tell me that mom wouldn't have wanted me to be sad about her passing.
that scene is coming, but not yet.

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