zzzzzzzz....

Current mood: hopeful

the last few days, actually, the last week or so, has been like an endurance test.
i like my 8 hours of sleep and i have been averaging about 6 hrs, for the last 10 days.
last night/this morning was the first time i have been able to sleep as long as i wanted, and just wake up when i naturally wake up.

i was fucking heaven.

there is one last truck-load of stuff to take up to my mom's new place, which will be done on tuesday, and then the family house will no longer be ours. it's going to be fucking weird to have my mom 2 hours away all the time. i'm finally getting sad about it. this entire moving experience has been so exhausting. perhaps i should have packed a smidgen more before the weekend of the move. packing until 2am and then waking up for work at 630am has sucked. packing the truck at 9am, then throwing a party til 3am, than waking up again at 7am to pack cars with plants and then unload them at my mom's new house in ukiah...that sucked, too.



today i have nothing planned. i might go get tea in the afternoon with ariana, but only if we feel like it. again, this is the first day where i am doing NOTHING. awesome. my fucking room is so repulsive to look at... i think shannon is going to break up with my if i leave my side of the room like this much longer. i have this archipelago of bags (work bag, gym bag, purse, schoolbag) that are all packed with the things that i use them for, but there's really no easy or graceful way to have a mountain of bags on the floor, and we don't have anywhere i can stash them, out of sight. also, i got a garbage bag full of samples from work, so i need to mend the little tears in them (which is how they mark them as samples) and then figure out where i am going to store them, since my clothing storage devices are all completely stuffed. how can i spend so much money on clothes and still feel like i have nothing to wear?

i went over to b's family's party for his graduation/him getting into berkeley. we missed most of the tasty ass food (b is a HELLA tasty cook), but we ate some cold pork loin that was a yumfest. b's g/f was being a little weird to me, but i am hoping it was just me being exhausted and emotional. maybe i'll ask b about it. i hope there's not tension there about me still coming to family functions and stuff. it's probably just something totally unrelated to me. i am working hard on remembering that not everything that is said and done is a comment or reference to my presence or behavior.

now i am going to get coffee with shannon. it's very warm today! like, skirts and flip-flops! yay!

Currently listening :
Mic City Sons
By Heatmiser
Release date: By 29 October, 1996