being a chick is silly.

Current mood: mellow

i got dressed up last night to go out for a friend's birthday in the city.
she's in a sketch comedy troupe (killing my lobster - funny!) and they performed at a comedy night at a.c.t., along with a few stand up comedians. the last comedian fucking sucked and i would have pelted him with trash if i could have. he seemed like a total ass-face. he looked vaguely familiar to me, and it turned out it was because he used to work on the morning show on channel 2 (whatever the local fox affiliate it.) he felt like that made him a celebrity, but he was mistaken. i couldn't care less about him.

(p.s. it's buggative when people say that they 'could care less' because, like misusing the word 'literally', when you use it wrong, you're actually saying exactly the opposite of what you're intending. david cross has a funny thingie about 'literally' and it's misuse. funny! anyway.)

we then went to some shitty bar up the street from the theatre. the bar was so fucking lame. so much so. the drinks were lame, the people were even lamer and there was a shitty blues-hammer-esque bar band that made me sad. also making me sad were a very drunk couple who slow danced/lambada-ed to most of the songs, and attempted to eat each other's faces and remove each other's clothing. it was heinous and depressing.

being a girl is so weird. i mean, i got dressed up, specifically to look 'hot' but i have a boyfriend who wasn't with me, so i am not on the hunt, so to speak. so, who the fuck am i dressing hot for? all the guys who i have no interest in humping? why bother? why don't i just wear my pajamas, then?

i accidentally made eye contact with some guy. filled with dread, i desperately looked to both sides of me to see if i could quickly join a conversation, but i wasn't fast enough and everyone was leaning away from me. basically, i was like a lamb to the slaughter. he zeroed in on me, circling, and then swooped. it was a bummer.

i am very careful to be friendly and polite, but i am not down with the pointless chatting with random bar guys.

i chatted with him for a few seconds and then, very politely and not-at-all snottily, i told him that i have a boyfriend and i am not really interested. i informed him that he was welcome to walk away, rather than invest time in something that won't bear dividends. being a bar guy takes some time and some energy investment, and i would think that it would be nice to be able to go try with someone else, rather than take time to 'get some' from me, when i know it's not going to happen.

so, whatever, i told him, in a non-jerky way. (seriously, i know that i can be.... caustic... from time to time, and i have been a total twat to hapless bar guys in past lives, but i was really nice and not laughy or teasey.) and, as sometimes happens with this approach, the guy, for some reason, feels like he can't admit that he was just coming over to hit on you, so he pretends that he just wants to chat. um... duh.

do i look retarded? because that is the stupidest, least truthful thing i have ever heard. yeah, because we're going to become good friends, weird bar guy, and you and me and my boyfriend are all going to hang out, right? yeah, no. dude, just walk away.

but no. 'oh, in my country, we don't just talk to people because we want to sleep with them. if we see someone in a pub who looks interesting we'll just talk to them.' (oh, he was from england.) anyway, again, i smell a rat, bar guy. i was under the impression that hitting on girls who dropped their 'don't talk to me' cloaking devices was pretty universal. maybe it's just an american thing... yeah, no.

i just wanted to push him away. dude, leave me alone. i don't care about you. i am sure you have lovely things in yourself, and some person will be very glad to find you, both as a friend and a boyfriend, but i am not that person. i don't really give a shit. please leave me alone.

so, he waited what he felt was an acceptable length of time to not look like a sleazy bar guy jerk, which he was anyway, and then slunk away. finally.

i know being a guy is tough, and being expected to 'cold call' chicks all the time must be really scary and annoying and tiring. i understand that.

being a girl is weird and tough, too, though. i mean, was i asking for it dressed like that? i think straight people need a rocker rag/bandana code language like our gay friends.

pink ribbon in my hair means i have a boyfriend and am just along for the ride.
blue ribbon means i'm a cheating-ass bitch, so bring it on.
white ribbon means i'm single and i like kittens.
yellow ribbon means i want you to pee on me.
or something. just some ideas.

that would make things so much easier for everyone involved.

Currently listening :
Arular
By M.I.A.
Release date: By 22 March, 2005