best laid plans of mice and kira.

as a direct result of my getting my license, which previously seemed unthinkably difficult, i have this sense that i can accomplish anything now. i promised the universe that if it let me pass my driving test, i'd begin learning to play the guitar, which has also always seemed arduously time-consuming, especially if i want to tear shit up at all. so, i haven't started the guitar thing, but i am still turning new leaves over.

i drove, all by myself, to san francisco, a couple of times, and i did not die or have to pull over and cry. that is impressive to me. i also drove to albany for lunch with a friend, with a similar lack of death or tears. like, whoa. i am unstoppable.

so, i am going to now phase procrastination out of my life. i hate to do it, it really causes problems in my life, aside from the feelings of worthlessness and shame that accompany it, and i am, as the kids are saying, 'over it.'

PROCRASTINATION, I DEFY YOU. YOU ARE NOW BANISHED.

to commemorate this momentous break-up, i have spent this evening working on some extra-curricular stuff that i've been avoiding all year and i finished the first major part of it and it was cinchy.

i am a datebook-using, note-to-self-writing, things-i-am-supposed-to-be-doing-doer who doesn't let little things like lethargy, fear, ennui, or embarrassment get in her way. nah, brah, i'm making shit happen.

woo. fuckin' a right.

i am going to wake up early again tomorrow, even though i don't really HAVE to, and walk the dog. partly because shannon's ankle is still jacked up and he shouldn't walk on it, and partly because i need to get some exercise, now that i don't have to walk everywhere anymore, or i'll turn into a jelly butt. or, a jellier butt.

i recognize that, most likely, this break-up between me and procrastinating won't be forever. a ltr like that tends to linger. but my intention is to honor the importance of the time we've spent together, while also remaining aloof and emotionally uninvolved.

also, sometimes it's nice to light a bunch of candle, for no reason. we're using these beeswax tea lights and it's pretty sweet. i don't mind the paraffin smell, but beeswax is undeniably less stank. i wish beeswax tasted as good as it smells. we'd really have something then...